just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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