It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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