That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
