dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize