im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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