I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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