tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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