ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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