Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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