i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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