who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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