I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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