Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
