Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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