She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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