We won't sleep together?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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