Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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