But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
