hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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