dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
