I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
