would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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