do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
