Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
