I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
