'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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