I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
