the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
