His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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