apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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