Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
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