I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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