He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
