Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
