Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize