btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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