he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize