Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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