hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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