Sry I called you an 8
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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