maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
