I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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