Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please don't give away my fajitas
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
