so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
