Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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