cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
