You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
