I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
