Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we made out on top of his cat.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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