There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
