It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
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I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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