Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
