There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
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I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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