I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize