Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
