Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
