I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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