I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
