I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
