i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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