Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
tell me about the fingering
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