is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
