so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
