I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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