I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.