Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn

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  (718): I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/ymp4
  Replies (19) Good night (791) Bad night (2337)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.

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  (541): Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/enyb
  Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (2182)
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  (619): View more from California

  DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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  (619): DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES http://tfl.nu/9dpy
  Replies (23) Good night (5018) Bad night (586)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.

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  (253): Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college. http://tfl.nu/tulo
  Replies (40) Good night (6478) Bad night (1557)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.

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  (508): When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned. http://tfl.nu/8l5x
  Replies (11) Good night (1152) Bad night (3392)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard

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  (361): When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard http://tfl.nu/jjpz
  Replies (7) Good night (857) Bad night (2672)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing

  (206): View more from Washington

  and semen

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  (360): it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing (206): and semen http://tfl.nu/0fmk
  Replies (14) Good night (4365) Bad night (868)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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  (920): If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet http://tfl.nu/w7lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1965) Bad night (721)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this

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  (573): I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this http://tfl.nu/fiy0
  Replies (3) Good night (1266) Bad night (606)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

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  (615): fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think http://tfl.nu/g5tp
  Replies (15) Good night (1646) Bad night (745)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.

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  (617): Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory. http://tfl.nu/p9v1
  Replies (11) Good night (2015) Bad night (1019)
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  (845): View more from New York

  just woke up under a car ? That's odd

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Holy fucking shit

  (845): View more from New York

  WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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  (845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr
  Replies (8) Good night (3206) Bad night (558)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.

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  (859): I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation. http://tfl.nu/e71w
  Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (588)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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  (604): Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy. http://tfl.nu/syw5
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (310)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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  (412): i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home http://tfl.nu/8rrw
  Replies (6) Good night (346) Bad night (312)

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