Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

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  (336): I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort. http://tfl.nu/myrl
  Replies (11) Good night (748) Bad night (2724)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

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  (914): Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter http://tfl.nu/3hf7
  Replies (128) Good night (2744) Bad night (3949)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."

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  (949): you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller." http://tfl.nu/aw6q
  Replies (19) Good night (6560) Bad night (927)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity

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  (210): remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity http://tfl.nu/9sni
  Replies (20) Good night (1001) Bad night (5250)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...

  (845): View more from New York

  Are you serious?

  (917): View more from New York City

  yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...

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  (917): so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head... (845): Are you serious? (917): yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it... http://tfl.nu/iiih
  Replies (25) Good night (961) Bad night (4568)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (9230) Bad night (1354)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.

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  (651): I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up. http://tfl.nu/q8q2
  Replies (10) Good night (3768) Bad night (1127)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.

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  (516): Never again will we have slut saturday. Never. http://tfl.nu/croh
  Replies (13) Good night (6365) Bad night (1737)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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  (717): thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape. http://tfl.nu/7lpf
  Replies (8) Good night (3946) Bad night (1071)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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  (719): Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes. http://tfl.nu/2pgh
  Replies (13) Good night (3527) Bad night (695)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.

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  (229): I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight. http://tfl.nu/cauv
  Replies (12) Good night (1305) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.

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  (423): They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire. http://tfl.nu/4291
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest

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  (507): 2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest http://tfl.nu/nadf
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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  (337): The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata. http://tfl.nu/y7xq
  Replies (2) Good night (1458) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what are you going as for halloween?

  (805): View more from California

  drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable

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  (818): what are you going as for halloween? (805): drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable http://tfl.nu/bmlt
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (364)

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