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Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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