I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
