Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This is not my ceiling
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They took my balls.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
