Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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  (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. http://tfl.nu/rnks
  Replies (20) Good night (543) Bad night (2629)
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  (925): View more from California

  Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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  (925): Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless http://tfl.nu/dgln
  Replies (23) Good night (3282) Bad night (750)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

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  (802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3
  Replies (17) Good night (1582) Bad night (3603)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?

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  (503): Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem? http://tfl.nu/dk03
  Replies (24) Good night (745) Bad night (3143)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

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  (850): you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster. http://tfl.nu/wnb4
  Replies (25) Good night (7438) Bad night (783)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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  (330): You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions http://tfl.nu/rnwr
  Replies (7) Good night (3491) Bad night (1127)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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  (516): I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/kwv6
  Replies (10) Good night (797) Bad night (3007)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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  (780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2288) Bad night (630)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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  (678): I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/66oa
  Replies (7) Good night (1347) Bad night (834)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd

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  (315): I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd http://tfl.nu/os0g
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (513)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

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  (248): I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch http://tfl.nu/n34v
  Replies (5) Good night (811) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?

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  (609): Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex? http://tfl.nu/f6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (312) Bad night (1027)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night

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  (401): My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night http://tfl.nu/qfjr
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (254)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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  (304): Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about. http://tfl.nu/t5bz
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (222)

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