Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
