I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize