I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
